Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
