the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
