Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Randomize
