There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
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