One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
