worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Randomize
