My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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