Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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