That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
that's an acceptable place to lick
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i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
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I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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