Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
