I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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