There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
