i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
