i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
the room spins SO much faster in panama
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
