i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
