So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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