Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
