Who did Billy Mays play for?
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
