your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
