is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
