I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
