AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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