So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
