Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
