It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
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We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
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I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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