he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
