You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
