If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
