Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
