I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
