thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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