I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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