I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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