i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
You made out with two different species that night
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
