3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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