You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
