where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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