I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
