Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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