I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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