her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
