careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
