she woke up with a sticky ear
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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