If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
