you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
