you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize