Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
FUCK WHALES
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
