she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize