You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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