You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
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Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
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I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize