Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
