Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
