i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
