I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
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