I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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