Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
