The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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