I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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