He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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