talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
You are a genius and a whore.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
