not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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