I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
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