I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
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