Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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